Messy

Just because I strive to find and share everything lovely and good in my life doesn’t mean I don’t encounter the bad and the ugly too. This balance is what makes life real and while this blog is designed to highlight the good; I would be remiss if I did not share the whole story, which as you know sometimes has not so lovely parts.  This is going to be a very lengthy post. I am feeling extremely angry right now and need to recount and share. Please feel free to give your opinion of the events in this post. 

In my most recent post I shared the news that my wife and I are  buying our first home.  Jennifer and I were always on the fence about owning because we are both fairly nomadic and don’t like to be tied to one location. That changed (a bit) when we moved to Western Massachusetts, there was something about it that felt like it could be a good home base for us.  It’s actually hard to believe that we have been here for four years already, the time has really flown! 

We love the home we’ve been renting and I believe the catalyst to this entire event is that when we asked our landlord if she would sell and she said no, we decided that if we liked it here we needed to stop throwing our monies away. So we prequalified for a home mortgage and in the interest of both ease and consistent service our lender, who works with an agency, suggested a real estate agent who was in our area.  

This is where it gets messy. Because people can be messy. I say that in general but you better believe I own my own messiness!

The agent was always “sales-y” friendly, she was “family” which made me feel more comfortable and I had never done this before so I didn’t know what to expect from an agent.  From the get go Jennifer wasn’t a big fan but it’s my nature to give LOTS of chances so she stuck it out.  As mentioned in my previous post, the market was tough to navigate. Not a lot of inventory but a ton of buyers in our same price range.  

The in person interactions were good but I never felt like we were getting the service we needed. I often felt the brush off. Jennifer and I did all the leg work. Finding homes, doing drive buy’s, attending open houses, wash rinse repeat. Our agent sent us two homes one in the very beginning and the other at the very end.  I feel that we lost out on several opportunities because she did not expedite requests and by the time we had an availability to see a home it was already contingent. 

That wasn’t the worst of it though. The worst was placing offers on homes we loved and losing. We had not even met our agent in person, or signed any disclosures that she represented us when we placed our first offer on a home that (hindsight!) would never have passed inspection. We started negotiating that deal and met her for the first time at that home and decided it was a no-go and withdrew our offer.  

We checked out another home in that same neighborhood (we found the listing) and fell in love even though it was out of our price range. We low balled an offer and it was punted back to us with a return we were not ready to commit to. During those negotiations Jennifer found and fell in love with another listing, a charming old farmhouse and asked our agent to schedule a showing. (Ironically it was being sold by the same sellers agent as the other home we were negotiating.) Our agent balked at this home saying it had “old home issues” and was on a busy street etc. but we still wanted to see it so she finally scheduled it. We fell in love and the price was SO right so we placed an offer based on our agents opinion. That next day we were told a full price offer had been placed and those dreams went down the drain. We saw another home that was just meh and at this point we just wanted a house so we placed an offer anyway. We let that one fizzle too. 

This was just prior to the July 4th holiday.  Our agent went on vacation and via the agent that was covering her, we decided to meet the bottom line offer on the dreamy home that was a little out of our financial reach. I’m still flabbergasted over what happened next: they refused the offer and said that wasn’t the bottom line–even though we had emails and text messages from our agent stating the number. It was horrible and only added to the “you can’t make this shit up” series of events that have become our first home purchase. 

The worst though was seeing another charming farmhouse, falling in love and when we went to sign/create the offer…it had already been sold. I was furious. Why would we ever be shown a home that was not actually available. 

Rewind just a bit. In June I contacted our lender who works with the realty company where our agent was suggested to us and discussed our dissatisfaction with the guy that referred her.  I told them that I had a few questions about her behavior, specifically, that she said that the fact we didn’t have local funding was not favorable in our offers. 

The loss of the second farmhouse really was the beginning of the end. Jennifer and I were both feeling defeated. We decided I would pre screen a few places.  I saw another no-go alone, had a cry on our agents shoulder, trying to see if she really wanted to work with us.  Not only was she a buyers agent but also a sellers agent and she was selling homes that were waaaaay over the price we were looking to buy. That’s why I figured we were feeling the brush off. She assured me that this was about the energy of it, not the transaction.  I apologized for my tears and she said that was quite all right, that therapy and real estate go hand in hand.  I felt better. 

That evening I texted her and asked her to see a home in South Hadley (not the one we are purchasing!) She replied that it was late notice but she would try, then she responded that it was to far away for Jennifer to commute. I told her we were still interested but she never set anything up. At this point we were still waiting to hear (definitivly) about the second charming farmhouse (we agreed to be a back-up offer.) We continually had to prompt her for those (and any) updates, she never offered any on her own.

I changed my number on July 18th and texted her with it that same day. Per my carrier settings it was delivered successfully. Jennifer added me/my new number to the group text we had going since we started our search. This is where we had been doing the majority of our communicating. Jennifer texted her via group text on the morning of 07/19 to see a home, she said yes and then she asked to postpone it due to having to euthanize her pup. We have a houseful, so of course we understood! She never contacted us again to see that particular home. I emailed her (wasn’t sure how she was doing after she lost her dog – thought texting was too soon) on 07/21 offering condolences and also asked her to see a home. I sent her another email shortly after that stating that I had found out it was a short sale, were we really not able to see those. Still no response. (She told us we would never be able to get a short sale with FHA financing.)

The next correspondance we received was from her was on Friday, August 5th in the morning. She stated that she had been calling and leaving messages and was worried about us. There is no way she ever called my number in those two weeks and didn’t receive the disconnected notice. I didn’t update it with our lender and he emailed me immediately stating he received a disconnect recording when he called. 

What has happened in the last five days is beyond crazy. She is now bullying our new agent, filing claims, FORGING MY SIGNATURE, harassing and defaming our character and overall being down right rotten. It just does not stop. I am sick over this.  I responded extremely kindly to her text message on the morning on August 5th.  I did not feel like we had some hugely personal connection; she really didn’t know us at all. We didn’t share super personal stuff with her. Nothing to warrant this vindictive assault she has waged against us.  I am outraged; pissed that this is our first home buying experience.  

The process is still going as expected with our new home but this bullshit is tainting the fuck out of it. 

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