It was so hot and sticky when I left work this evening. I settled in for my ride home and was almost instantly moved to tears. You see, I’ve cried for Carrie a lot lately. Mostly in the shower in the mornings and on my ride home. Tonight I don’t even know what it was that came over me; the sky opened up and began to pour and my tears followed suit. Then… scccrreeeeeeeeecchhhhh – BAM, a three car pile-up happens in the opposite direction. I wiped the snot and tears off my face, pulled over and jogged to the accident. Because my mascara was not waterproof the good folks at the scene were asking me if I was okay and had been harmed – I told them I was fine (okay a little embarrassed about that), checked on them, got the okay that the authorities had been called, turned off a still running car in the middle of the street and then bounced out.
It was a really weird moment. Of course I’m sitting here wondering if it was a sign or something…
but I really don’t think it was.
I am sad. Our house is in shambles because we’ve decided to pull up the carpet. The floor underneath looks like poop and I fear this is going to be a much longer project than I had originally hoped. On the one hand it’s really most excellent to have a project to dive into when times are tough. Although it feels a bit overwhelming when everything else i.e., emotions are all over the place. Either way I know my beloved will make sure it will be lovely and for that I am and will always be grateful.
So I’m in tears again. Really missing my friend. Worried she never knew how much she meant to me; how much I loved her. Angry that she had such a tough time in life and desperately wishing for a different ending.
**Tonight’s title is from the 1996 movie Foxfire with Angelina Jolie. It was one of Carrie and I’s favourite movies. We definitely ran with some foxes. . .